Debbie Ford's, The Dark Side of The Light Chasers
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is
that we are powerful beyond measure," says Marianne Williamson in A
Return to Love. "It is our light, not our darkness, that most
frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,
talented, fabulous?' Actually who are you not to be? You are a child
of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing
enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure
around you. You were born to manifest the glory of God that is within
you. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our
own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do
the same. As we're liberated from our own fear, our presence
automatically liberates others."
This chapter will show you how to let your entire light shine, how to
embrace in yourself all the grace and magnificence you see in others.
This means owning and embracing not just your dark shadow but your
light shadow, too, everything positive that you've denied and
projected onto others.
We live in a new age. It's a time of opening up and of healing and
growth. It's not passive but it requires surrender -- surrender of
our egos and our old patterns. As Charles Dubois once said, "The
important thing is to be able at any moment to sacrifice what you are
for what you could become." The only thing that stops us from being
our whole, authentic selves is fear. Our fear tells us that we can't
fulfill our dreams. Our fear tells us not to take risks. It stops us
from enjoying our richest treasures. Our fear keeps us living in the
middle of the spectrum instead of embracing the full range. Fear
keeps us numb. It blocks us from the exuberance and excitement of
life. Fearful, we create situations in our lives to prove to
ourselves that our self-imposed limitations are appropriate. To
overcome our fear, we have to face it and replace it with love. Then
we can embrace it. And once we can embrace our fear, we can choose
not to be afraid anymore. Love allows us to cut that cord.
We fear our own magnitude because it challenges our core beliefs. It
contradicts everything we've been told. Some of us recognize many of
our gifts while others can see only a few, but it's rare that I meet
someone who's comfortable with the full brilliance of their light.
Everyone has different positive traits that he or she has difficulty
embracing. Since most of us were told not to be cocky or conceited,
we've buried some of our most precious gifts. These traits became our
light shadow. We carry our light shadow around in the same bag with
our dark shadow.
Once we take back our positive projections we experience inner peace -
- the deep peace that lets us know we are perfect exactly the way we
are. Peace comes when we stop pretending to be something other than
our true selves. Many of us don't even realize we are pretending to
be lesser people than we really are. Somehow we have convinced
ourselves that who we are is not enough. Allow the world within to
manifest itself and it will show you the road to freedom -- freedom
to be sexy, desirable, talented, healthy, and successful.
When you don't recognize your full potential you don't allow the
universe to give you your divine gifts. Your soul yearns to realize
its full potential. Only you can allow this to happen. You can choose
to open your heart and embrace all of yourself, or you can choose to
live with the illusion of who you are today. And forgiveness is the
most important step on this path to self-love. We must see ourselves
with the innocence of a child, and accept our misdeeds and misgivings
with love and compassion. We have to set aside our harsh judgments
and come to terms with the mistakes we've made. We must know that we
are worthy of forgiveness. This divine gift teaches us that part of
being human is making mistakes. Forgiveness comes from the heart, not
the ego. Forgiveness is a choice. At any moment in time we can give
up our resentments and judgments and choose to forgive ourselves and
others. When we take back all our projections and find our gifts,
we're able to find compassion for ourselves. It then becomes natural
to have compassion for those whom we have resented. When we see in
ourselves what we've hated in others, we can take responsibility for
what exists between ourselves and them.
Rilke wrote that "perhaps all the dragons of our lives are princesses
who are only waiting to see us once, beautiful and brave. Perhaps
everything terrible is in its deepest being something that needs our
love." Love which does not include total acceptance of you is
incomplete. Most of us are trained to look outside ourselves for the
love we need. But when we let go of our need for love from the
external world the only way to comfort ourselves is to go within, to
find what we strive to get from others and give it to ourselves. We
all deserve it. We must allow the universe within, our divine mother
and father, to love us and nourish us.
It often takes time before we're able to see certain aspects of
ourselves. Even when we have all the knowledge and tools to embrace
all of our selves, there will be times when we aren't ready to see
something painful about ourselves the truth is that the healing
you're looking for in your relationships will not come from another
person. It must come from you first. It will come from communion with
all the qualities that live within you.
The world mirrors yourself back to you. If you love, nourish, and
appreciate yourself internally it will show up in your external life.
If you want more love, give more love to yourself. If you want
acceptance, accept yourself. I promise that if you love and respect
yourself from the deepest place of your being, you will call forth
that same level of love and respect from the universe. If you think
you are doing this and your external world does not look like you
think it should, I ask you to look inside one more time. Uncover the
lie. Uncover what you are not allowing yourself to have, what you
most desire."
- pp. 136 - 145
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