The Greatest Relationship

By Jaya Ishaya


Interactions with others are what can cause us so much joy. The joy of sharing adventures together, moments in our life and our thoughts. They can also be the cause of most of our confusion, unstableness and pain if we don’t understand them and work with them. For most people, we simply don’t know how relationships really work, so we project our expectations, needs and wants onto others. It could be our friends, our co-workers or our closest loved ones, but as much as we love them, we can feel hurt and miss-understood. In most cases this leads to us denying who we are in order to receive the love that we are desperately searching for.

The greatest of all misunderstandings is the ultimate relationship and that is the one with you. How on earth are we supposed to know and love other people if we don’t know and love our self? For most of us, we have no idea who we are. We think we know what we like and dis-like, and that defines a sort of personality. But even that changes with the seasons, the fashions, and the environment and with life. Most of us continue down the road of life being a stranger to the one person who matters the most and that is our self.

One the journey of Self discovery we take a look at who you really are. Some people don’t want to do that and are afraid to venture into this space as they are scared that they might not like what they are to find. Isn’t that strange? But I’ve heard it many times. Because we have spent years and even most of our life denying who we are, and are afraid to really express who we are, we believe that it might be ugly and that denial is safer than the adventure of discovery. How could that be possible? No matter what we have lived through, decisions we have made and situations we have been in, there is so much beauty, uniqueness and creation waiting to be discovered in you. Simply by allowing it to be unveiled, you become open to a greater understanding and experience of life through being the real you. Then you allow yourself to be perfect exactly as you are, and to see life in that perfection also. That is the only way you can fully experience a relationship, any relationship
with anyone else, is by being complete and stable within yourself.

Until that is established any relationship is shrouded by needs and expectations. They are the relationships of taking to fulfil something that appears to be empty or not complete. That something is you. If you need someone to be or to do, then there is an aspect of you that is incomplete and you are hoping that this other person can fill it for you. When they don’t live or act up to your expectations, you feel the pain. It’s a vicious relationship that is very painful. There is very little security, peace and true love in it.

The only way there can be true love, is by loving yourself first. From that place the relationship is based on giving. You are already full, stable and in a gentle content love, and that is what naturally moves out into your world. That then becomes the basis of the relationships around you, and that is what grows between you and everyone else. It is such a small shift, but is staggering in its difference. Your contentment and your love then come from within you no matter what is going on around you. It’s incredibly freeing.

There is one relationship which even supersedes this. As great as this is, there is more. It might naturally start to expand into your experience simply by you learning to love your self. And that is the relationship with the divinity within you. When you start to recognise the spiritual aspect of your truth, of your essence and of your reason for being here, it’s very hard to not see everything else in its divinity also. From that place everything has its order, perfection and reason for existence. Every interaction is for you to realise the divine order more, and every apparent hiccup becomes a gift for you to love even more your self and your world. The judgements melt, the fear dissolves and the world becomes a magical playground and an exciting adventure.

From this awareness of life, the interactions with others are totally meaningful in that precise moment, and nothing needs to be fixed, changed, acquired or dropped. All people are a part of this amazing adventure together. The ultimate relationship has no beginning or end, as you realise that everything you have done, been through and experienced has been perfect for this path of waking up. This relationship continues to deepen and expand into greater understandings to life that really have an impact in the moment then are gone. In this relationship there is only the true essence to life, all of life and that is love. The greatest dance is to learn to love unconditionally again, to release to fears and judgements and to fling our arms wide open and embrace all that this magical life has to offer.

From that place, everyone is a joy and a unique expression of that divine truth flourishing in the perfection that they are made for. Isn’t that great? Life is wonderful, and is here to be enjoyed by all of us.



'Beyond our ideas of right-doing and wrong-doing, there is a field. I'll meet you there! When the soul lies down in that grass, the world is too full to talk about Ideas, language, even the phrase " each other" doesn't make sense anymore.'

'Gamble everything for love if you are a true human being. If not, leave this gathering.'

- Jalaluddin Rumi.