You can think. You can feel. You can solve your problems. You can take care of yourself. Those words have often benefited me more than the most profound and elaborate advice. How easy it is to fall into the trap of doubting others and ourselves. When someone tells us about a problem, what is our reaction? Do we believe we need to solve it for the person? Do we believe that that person's future rests on our ability to advise him or her? That's standing on shaky ground - not the stuff of which consciousness is made. When someone is struggling through a feeling, or a morass of feelings, what is our reaction? That the person will never survive that experience? That it's not okay for someone to feel? That he or she will never get through this intact? When a person is faced with the task of assuming responsibility for their life and behaviors, what is our response? That the person can't do that? I must do it myself to save him or her from dissipating into ashes? From crumbling? From failing? What is our reaction to ourselves when we encounter a problem, a feeling, or when we face the prospect of assuming responsibility for ourselves? Do we believe in others and ourselves? Do we give power to people - including ourselves - and their abilities? Or do we give the power to the problem, the feeling, or the irresponsibility? We can learn to check ourselves out. We can learn to think, and consider our response, before we respond. "I'm sorry you're having that problem. I know you can figure out a solution. Sounds like you've got some feelings going on. I know you'll work through them and come out on the other side." Each of us is responsible for ourselves. That does not mean we don't care. It does not mean a cold, calculated withdrawal of our support from others. It means we learn to love and support people in ways that work. It means we learn to love and support ourselves in ways that work. It means that we connect with friends who love and support us in ways that work. To believe in people, to believe in each persons inherent ability to think, feel, solve problems, and take care of themselves is a great gift we can give and receive from others. Today, I will strive to give and receive support that is pure and empowering. I will work at believing in myself and others - and our mutual abilities to be competent at dealing with feelings, solving problems, and taking responsibility for ourselves. Melody Beattie ©
The Tao Te Ching says, "When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. When I let go of what I have, I receive what I need." Have you ever struggled to find work or love, only to find them after you have given up? This is the paradox of letting go. Let go, in order to achieve. Letting go is God's law. Mary Manin Morrissey
AA Thought of the Day / Once we have placed the key of willingness in the lock and have the door ever so slightly open, we find that we can always open it some more. / 12 & 12, p. 35
As we allow ourselves to realize we are wounded, to be aware of the pain and go deeper and deeper to its source, we reach deep into the well of our being to release old hurts, old poisons. That's why we embrace pain. It's not because we love the fact that it hurts. Nobody likes to hurt. But we choose to embrace pain because it's a piercing, an opening of a wound that allows the hurtful poison to be released. Then we can let it heal. Marilyn C. Barrick
In this moment, remember that you are on this earth for a purpose, and that purpose is to be of service. You have your own unique skills and abilities to offer in being of service. As you practice joyful service, your prosperity will increase. © Patricia J. Crane
The essence of all religions is love, compassion, and tolerance. Kindness is my true religion. The clear proof of a person's love of God is if that person genuinely shows love to fellow human beings. The Dalai Lama
The easiest thing to be in the world is you. The most difficult thing to be is what other people want you to be. Don't let them put you in that position. Leo Buscaglia
What looks like a loss may be the very event which is subsequently responsible for helping to produce the major achievement of your life. Srully D. Blotnick
Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for; it is a thing to be achieved. William Jennings Bryan
4 comments:
Another post of good timing!
A lot of people tell me their problems... and honestly I don't have the patience for them all the time. I do listen, but inside I'm wondering why they always confide in me. Especially since they never own up to their part in the drama, and the drama never ends! I believe they either like the drama or have yet to find the path best for them. Maybe it is both. If you offer advice they never listen. They simply like to relive the drama...
Then, when this goes on and on, I start avoiding them because they are filled with negativity. When I do see them, I say something positive and move on.
I do like the response written here. "I'm sorry you're having that problem. I know you can figure out a solution."
Sometimes I feel mean when I do not want to spend time with "them". However, I simply find it draining.
My life is a gift - not to be wasted but treasured. Although perhaps I shall practice on joyful service. :)
That said.. grinning... Thanks for the post Jimmy James!
Your life and you are a gift. You have many wonderful talents and treasures.
I hear you loud and clear on some people's negativity. It just sucks the energy right out of you. Dyer in one of his books said you either have to build up a really high positive charge to over the negative or "move on with love" I had a friend that told me that her goals somedays were to make my day miserable. If she was having a bad day, I certainly would also. It was like being sucked into a black hole. Then I read someplace, that black holes pull in all matter and energy within their grasp. Made me think of that time. Then I read someplace else, that black holes also expel a form of energy. My mind clinked then, kind of like a recycling center. So their is some good in that negative folks do in a way help balance us. Like the yin and yang.
Anymore, I have learned to walk away and not become involved or even listen to their problems. I know it can suck me in and create other undesirable effects in my life. And since I am creating my life, I want to create it the best I can. Then I be able to share and give parts of it away to someone else.
UGH! I would not like a friend like that. Although she was honest. :)
I told Estella Maria about what your blog said. So I could tell Rose "I'm sorry you're having that problem. I know you can figure out a solution."
Estella laughed!
Thank you. I appreciate your thoughts
and feelings. :)
I think it is a good path you walk.
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